Stop Telling Toddlers to Use 'Gentle Hands': Why It's Not Effective

Parenting Advice: Why 'Gentle Hands' Isn't Always the Answer Parents often resort to telling toddlers to use "gentle hands" when they hit, but a recent TikTok video by occupational therapist Shannon (@mamaot_shannon) challenges this approach. Shannon argues that this common advice inadvertently normalizes hitting and fails to address the underlying anger or frustration. "Gentle hands is for when they're playing with their newborn baby brother and they touch him just a little too hard," she explains in the video, highlighting the difference between accidental roughness and angry aggression. Instead of focusing on the gentleness of the touch, Shannon suggests teaching toddlers alternative coping mechanisms. "If your toddler hits you when they're mad or frustrated, instead of saying 'gentle hands,' you need to say, 'Hands are for high-fives, hands are for something else,'" she advises. This approach encourages children to find appropriate ways to express their emotions. The video has garnered significant attention, with over 22,300 views and hundreds of likes and shares, indicating a widespread interest in the topic. It underscores the need for parents to adopt more effective strategies for managing toddlers' aggression and promotes a more nuanced approach to discipline.