Psychologist Claims Parents, Not Children, Are the Real Challenge in Therapy

Warsaw, Poland - Psychologist Łukasz Waleszczyński has sparked a significant online discussion by asserting that parents often present the biggest challenge in child therapy. In a recent video, Waleszczyński outlined two primary issues he encounters in his practice: parents' "massive, gigantic denial" and their tendency to "over-psychologize" their children. According to Waleszczyński, parents frequently bring children to therapy for issues like school refusal or poor academic performance, demanding that the psychologist "fix" the child. However, through deeper inquiry, he often discovers that these child-related problems are symptoms of underlying family dysfunction, such as parental conflict or abuse. "The child is not coming with a problem titled 'my child doesn't go to school,' but with a problem titled 'our family is dysfunctional, and please do something about it,'" Waleszczyński explained. The second issue involves parents actively seeking out problems in their children where none exist, or even sabotaging therapeutic progress. He cited an example of a five-year-old who simply said "poop" to his father, which the mother presented as a significant psychological problem. Waleszczyński also noted that when a teenager, previously suppressed by parents, begins to individuate and break free from control during therapy, parents often perceive this positive development as a new problem, attempting to undermine the entire therapeutic process. Commenters largely echoed Waleszczyński's observations, with many sharing personal experiences of parental denial or over-involvement hindering their own or their children's psychological well-being. One user wrote, "everyone who wants to have a child should undergo psychological tests. Most problems in the world come from incompetent parents." Another added, "My teenager doesn't study at all. Has problems with grades. Parents don't drink and don't hit. What should I do?" The video underscores the critical role of parental self-awareness and willingness to engage in their own change for successful child therapy.

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