Understanding Anxious Attachment: Why Unanswered Texts Can Trigger Deep-Seated Fears

In the fast-paced world of digital communication, the wait for a text message can trigger significant anxiety for many, a phenomenon dating coach Sabrina Zohar recently highlighted in a viral video. Zohar, known for her podcast 'The Sabrina Zohar Show,' explains that this common experience is a prime example of hypervigilance and anxious attachment in early dating. According to Zohar, when individuals experience intense anxiety over unreturned texts, it often signals a state of 'dysregulation' in their nervous system. This dysregulation can manifest in various ways, including difficulty sleeping and a heightened need for external validation. Zohar shared a personal anecdote, revealing, "I remember I used to be so anxious, I would take a nap in the middle of the day so I didn't have to wait in the discomfort of them not texting back at the end of the day." She emphasizes that such reactions are not merely about the text itself, but stem from deeper fears such as rejection or abandonment. Zohar advises that instead of spiraling into anxiety, individuals should focus on self-regulation. "Do something for you that can regulate your nervous systems," she suggests, recommending activities like walking or journaling. This approach, she argues, allows individuals to challenge their anxieties and address the underlying fears, rather than solely relying on external validation from a text message.